You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
