Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
