i would punch a child for taco bell
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
