it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
