Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
