i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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