how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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