Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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