Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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