Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
