Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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