I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
