Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
