Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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