Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
