The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This toilet bowl is my home.
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