I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
