god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Say something about gay babies.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You are a genius and a whore.
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