Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
