people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize