Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh god it's open bar.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
