bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
