He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
