I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
