I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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