Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
