why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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