I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
