No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
