P.S. I can't hear my feet
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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