HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
