I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
