I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
