fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
