dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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