In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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