My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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