You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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