so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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