she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
