Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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