Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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