everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
