I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
