so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
