Pappa wants mamma naked
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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