Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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