I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
