you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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