How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
