he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
