I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
