so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
